Letters to Heaven


I screwed up again. But this time you are too far away beyond reach.  They don't get me. You too don't get me but at least you will listen to me and be my team. This time I dont have a team. Do you think I will always be alone in this journey? How crazy I am to ask you such questions. How can you be responsive as our priorities are different now. What matters to me no longer matters to you. You have your own battle now while I am still stranded on earth barely able to breath and think. I often trying to picture what will be your words if you are still around. What will you say to me when I have my insecurities and doubt. I miss you. More like.. I miss you when you were here. Breathing, listening and well functioning. Most of the days I am okay. But sometimes I am not. There is this little space in my heart which I reserve for you since the day you leave me. More and more,  I am accepting the fact that maybe, this is the battle which I need to fight without you. 

Love, FH


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